Wednesday, 27 July 2011

Captain America: Corn Fed Golden Boy

Maybe I really am the crabby old lady my nephew called me, but I just could not stand this movie. The whole thing had a bland, hokey vibe to it, Little Orphan Annie meets Gomer Pyle, USMC, which is unlike anything Marvel has done before. I first thought it might be trying to recreate some sort of supposed innocence of the time. However, it struck me that the 40’s were not an innocent time. We’d come through WWI, Prohibition, gangster wars and Pearl Harbor. And by 1942-43, the time in which this movie is set, Americans were dying by the thousands on the battlefield. X-Men: First Class did a superior job of blending hero origins with the tensions of the Cold War early 60’s where as this played out as straight up fantasy with no sense of truth. X-Men wove in real events with layered, complex characters. This was Who Framed Roger Rabbit run amok.

While some Marvel films have had plots with weak points, the overall plot of Captain America was senseless. We have a bullied boy who gets to be a super soldier, but he has no clear mission. It’s almost like he decides to save the world for the heck of it because he has nothing better to do just like a certain Johnny Storm. Red Skull could have been a great villain, but there is no clear motivation for his evil that I could discern. Sure he wants world domination, but he is more like a plot convenience, evil so that Captain America could be the good guy. The rest of the characters were pretty much all stock with about as much depth as postage stamps while the dialogue was so corny, I could have had it as a side dish with my BBQ chicken.


Speaking of ol’ Johnny, I thought Chris Evans was terrible in Fantastic Four, but in this film he finds a new level of bad. I swear he was channeling Reb Brown from the old 70’s television pilot for Captain America. To be fair, it probably had a lot to do with the godawful writing, but I have never seen such a one-dimensional hero. He’s so golden, my eyes hurt. Chris plays Steve Rogers/Captain America as a stalwart, pure-hearted Boy Scout who is perfect from start to finish. There is no character growth. As the ninety pound weakling and the god-like super soldier, he remains the boy-next-door patriot, the aw shucks, gee whiz, shoe scuffing puppy. He has no shadow or depth whatsoever and you’d think someone who spent the majority of his life getting beat down would have an issue or three. And not just “I don’t like bullies.” I did not for one minute buy into this I-just-want-to-be-a-good-guy bullshit trope. No one is that freakin’ pure-hearted unless they’re a child or Mother Theresa. Even Luke Skywalker wanted revenge.

It’s disturbing how he never questions anything beyond the one “Why me?” to Dr. Erskine. For crying out loud he’s a super soldier and they send him on a war bonds selling tour. He laps the assignment up like candy and it’s not until the real soldiers humiliate him that he wakes the hell up and starts to think for himself. Too little too late if you ask me. Let me give you another example of just how ridiculously naïve and pure this guy is. As Weak Steve, the ninety pound twig, he has no game. His friend Bucky tries to get him a girl, but he’s clearly not interested. So he becomes a badass power warrior. Even after this process, Rogers still gets no girl action beyond a chaste kiss from Peggy and one rather steamy one from a sexy secretary after she recognizes him from the newspaper. Then there’s big action sequences until he winds up frozen in ice for almost 70 years. So that means that Captain America is officially America’s oldest virgin. Get this man a purity ring.

I also think I’m the only one who had a serious problem with the horrifically creepy CGI’d body they gave Chris in order to turn him into Weak Steve. His head was too large and his voice too deep for the anemic stick they created. Watching and listening to him was like being yanked into one of Raoul Duke’s LSD-fueled visions from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Benjamin Button it was not.

The supporting cast was great and did what they could with such limited characters. Tommy Lee Jones is the gruff colonel who can’t stand “the 90 pound asthmatic.” Hugo Weaving stood out as the megalomaniacal Johann Schmidt/Red Skull, although his mask looked like it came straight out of Jim Carrey’s movie. He was, however, the only one to come close to a good German accent. Stanley Tucci and Toby Jones sounded like cartoon characters trying imitate Germans. The other stand out for me was Hayley Atwell. She did a superb job as Agent Peggy Carter and her character was smart, strong and held her own against the blundering males. Her chemistry with Evans was purely one-sided, though. At certain points he looked like he really wanted to bring out the lurve, but alas, he was more focused on saving the world from bullies.

I will give the film props for exquisite art direction. Johnston and crew really brought the period to life with superb costumes and set design. The production absolutely had the look and feel of the early 40’s. Hydra’s weapons were wicked cool, skillfully blending 40’s tech with a bit of steampunk and sci fi. I also appreciated the war bonds stage show. It was a faithful recreation of some of those over-the-top propaganda gimmicks. This film also blended nicely with The Avengers continuity with the source for Thor’s power used to fuel the Hydra weapons.

I know a lot of people loved this movie, but for my money it was a real stinker. X-Men: First Class, Thor and Green Lantern were far superior films to this. I like my heroes with some edge and here’s hoping that Joss Whedon will give Captain America some depth with The Avengers. You know, maybe hanging out with the sophisticated Tony Stark is just what the Red, White and True Blue naïve boy needs.

165 comments:

J-SON said...

Have yet to catch this film (it releases tomorrow over my side). Once I do, I'll read your opinion thoroughly (to prevent myself potential spoilers LOL!)

Thanks Melissa for sharing! :)

Nebular said...

I didn't read the entire review, coz I'm planning to see the movie this weekend, and I just didn't want to get affected by your highly respected opinion, hon. :)

Wether I agree with you or not, I'll post a proper comment after I see it. Till then... hugs! :)

Melissa Bradley said...

@J-Son You're welcome! I hope you enjoy the film. I didn't, but then my taste is sometimes just bizarre. I wonder what you'll think when you read my review in full. :)

@Nebular Hey George! I hope you enjoy the movie and I look forward to seeing your response and hearing what you liked or didn't. Hugs to you, sweetie!

Eric said...

The only thing I can say is that you've missed the point of who Cap was and what the comic book was to readers of that time. I thought the movie was a fairly accurate adaption of the story to the big screen and I enjoyed it thoroughly. The Cap was supposed to be completely idealistic and and they portrayed that well. The fact that you liked Green Lantern shows how our opinions differ when it comes to comic book movies. I considered GL one of the worst tragedies to hit comic book movies since that horrible Daredevil attempt. It's too bad you didn't enjoy it, because that means you will likely not enjoy The Avengers either since it will probably continue to portray the Cap similarly going forward.

Eric said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa Bradley said...

@Eric I never really got into Captain America and now that I've seen the film, I remember why. That kind of naive idealism just does not appeal to me.

I agree with you on Daredevil. That was pretty awful.

I do think I'll enjoy The Avengers because Thor and Ironman will be there and it's Joss Whedon. Thanks for the comments. :)

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Wow, you hate puppies AND kittens!
You read my review, so you know I loved this film. It accurately portrayed who Captain America was when he was created.
It's all right Melissa, I still like you!

Melissa Bradley said...

@Alex Aww thanks! Oh and don't forget baby birds, too. :)

I was told that I just didn't get Captain America and that's probably true. He was never really on my radar, but I do remember the cartoon when I was a kid and not liking it very much. I guess I just like my heroes with some bad boy dirtiness. :)

DEZMOND said...

what you didn't like Chris but you like Hayley??? We must solve this issue in a box match, Melsy :)))

Matthew Vanacore said...

I'm with Nebular: I haven't seen it yet, so I'm going to avoid any any critical analysis. I'll reserve my judgment for now, but I'm eager to see it, and compare notes with your review.

Melissa Bradley said...

@Dez How about a duel at high noon? Yes, I'm afraid I did not like Chris at all. I think it was not so much him, but the way they wrote the character. ;)

@Matt I think I'm the only in America who hated this movie and people keep telling me I just don't get Captain America. I'm looking forward to seeing what you think of this.

Craig Edwards said...

Wow, we definitely saw this movie in completely different lights. I completely enjoyed this and for many of the same reasons that I think you hated it. I always got into Captain America thanks to his being an ideal - the perfect patriot. He was definitely stalwart and pure, which I liked. His goodness may be a little one-dimensional, but it allows him to be more of a reactive presence to the chaos around him. And only he and Superman can get away with their merit badges for goodness - I like my other superheroes to have a little more grit and grime on them. If anyone cares to check out my review - it can be found at

http://craiglgooh.blogspot.com/2011/07/stars-and-stripes-forever.html

I'm sorry you didn't enjoy this one, MB - good thing you skipped the 3-D at least! ;)

Melissa Bradley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa Bradley said...

I guess I never did like the Boy Scouts, even as a kid. I preferred Han Solo to Luke Skywalker when Star Wars rolled out. Something about the gray areas and the shadows of his past. And yet, oddly enough, I do like Superman. I do think they need to give him more of an edge, not total dark like Batman, but something along the lines of what they did in Smallville. I was expecting something like that for Captain America and that was my bad, I think.

I'm happy you enjoyed this movie, though. Your review was excellent. :)

msmariah said...

I just think it was an old fashioned film, somewhat similar to The Rocketeer or The Phantom. You're right, Captain A is more one-dimensional than Thor or Iron Man, but Thor is a modern comic book film, whereas, Captain A is truly retro.

The reason I didn't like Thor was b/c the storyline wasn't there and they had so much material to work with. The action came to an abrupt halt when Thor came to earth. The only decent scene was when Thor battled the robot-looking creature at the end. The love story btw Jane and Thor was contrived as well. I'm not sure if it was poorly written, if the chemistry btw the actors wasn't there, or if several key scenes landed on the cutting room floor.

Overall I thought Captain A was better, but in a different way.

Melissa Bradley said...

@msmariah It was old fashioned and you're right it did remind me somewhat of The Phantom. I thought that movie was okay, but Billy Zane was a bit more edgy that Chris Evans.

The love story with Jane and Thor wasn't really a love story. I took it more as an attraction with possibility which is why I think it worked. At least for me

watch movies online for free said...

I have already seen this film and it is an American romantic comedy film written, produced and directed by Nancy Meyers.

Russell_Oz said...

Wow Mel, you and I definitely have differing views on the same movie LOL!

I loved this movie! I thought it was brilliant pretty much for the same reasons you hated it. I just thought it was so refreshing to have a character who was the epitome of everything good in America during a time where they needed it.

Captain America was a symbol was a country, meant to inspire those around him and the audience who followed his adventures in the comic.

I thought that Chris Evans owned as Cap, and made us all forget about Johnny Storm.

I can't wait for The Avengers!!

Melissa Bradley said...

@Russell_Oz LOL We sure did have differing opinions! I was a Han Solo girl and have always liked my heroes to be a bit bad and have some five-o'clock shadow on those all-American square jaws. Captain America may have been meant to inspire WWII America, but this isn't that time anymore. Even our WWII movies are edgier, grittier and more realistic than ones they made back then.

On the other hand, I am looking forward to The Avengers. Joss is an awesome director.

Jamie (Mithril Wisdom) said...

I'm probably going to see this tomorrow; thanks for the review. I've heard very conflicting reviews for Cap, so it'll be interesting to see how it pans out. He's my least favourite Marvel character, it'll need to be something special to impress :P

Melissa Bradley said...

@Jamie Yeah CA is my least favorite hero at Marvel. I think it has to do with the fact that he is so pure.

I hope you enjoy it. I hate to see anyone lose money on a movie they did not like.

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